Sleeping Giants, Smoking Guns and other Hazards of Real Estate

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guns & real estate, HGTV, Island Life, Real Life Real Estate

Maybe I’m working too hard in Atlanta’s suburbs, lately I’ve watched a lot of HGTV’s Island Life. It is nice to see the realtor sit on a swing – allow house hunters to peruse at their leisure. Does the crew bring her a margarita or sweet tea while she waits? An agent can dream.

In real life, we’re trained to keep parties together while looking at houses. The State of Georgia requires a background check before receiving a real estate license. We could be held liable once our “magic keys” open houses. If a door is accidentally left unlocked or lights are wrongly on/off, a realtor can expect a call from an unhappy listing agent.

If a buyer client locks a (formerly unlocked) door to the garage, we could receive an irate call from the listing agent when his client is locked out of the house – since he only enters through the garage. (Not that I’ve experienced this, ahem…) If you see Scotch tape on a lock, please do not touch tape/lock.

While setting up showings, realtors contact other agents regarding schedules for alarm systems, Smart Houses, gate codes, cats, dogs, children, cleaning, special needs, day-sleepers, movers, stomach viruses and other possibilities that need coordination. I read this once in private MLS showing instructions: “Agents please be sure to keep all doors closed. Seller has indoor cars”.                    Potatoe, Potada… Cars, cats – hilarious!

Despite best efforts, it happens. Gather realtors; you’ll hear stories of when they…

… Heard someone in the shower (or horrors! saw someone)

… Walked in on active people in bed (Yes, it happens, usually in middle of the day, usually not both homeowners, if you know what I mean and in other cases, it’s a young person/resident & friend, unaware of the showing.)

…Squatters (especially when distressed sales were prevalent a few years ago)

I have seen a sleeping teenager – mom guided us, thankfully. We were on our own with the disgruntled girlfriend propped in bed watching TV in her glorious Master Suite. (We felt her pain; spectacular home on Lake Lanier, the landlord was selling it.)

I have a home under contract and have been there often for showings, inspections, appraisal – aware of the empty-nest residents, moving to Arkansas to be near their adult children. I was assured they were out-of-town; cleared to bring contractors early Friday morning. Out of habit, I rang the doorbell several times, knocked hard, yelled “Real Estate!” upon echoing foyer entry. The future owner got busy with contractors, measuring and discussing.

Something told me to check upstairs. (If stories in real estate school don’t scare the bejesus out of you, your gut will.) Sure enough, after all my racket, a young man was sound asleep upstairs. I closed the door, reported the situation to contractor & future owner, called the listing agent to ensure the guy wouldn’t wake up and surprise us with Smith & Wesson.

It is a concern. Our firm has an office in North Georgia and even when realtors have a confirmed appointment, they won’t drive up/down the mountain for showings until homeowners are called “one more time” to guarantee they won’t get shot. Not kidding, and agents nod in unison, oddly quiet with details of their stories. I think they’re still in shock, or just plain worn out. I know I am.

Enough talk about the hazards of real estate for today, where’s that Mint Julip?

Cooking Like A Real Estate Agent

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Caravan Ideas, HGTV, Real Estate, Real Life Real Estate, Tomato Bisque Recipe

I began this blog as a public service and multiple readers have thanked me for saving them the trouble, time, headache and expense of getting a real estate license. They admitted that watching HGTV made them think it was easy-peasy to sell a home. Not wishing to taint the industry, it is time to share a benefit of being a realtor.

Caravans on Tuesday!

We run caravans to increase marketing efforts and gain exposure for listings. It’s a fantastic way to preview homes and learn about communities. If a seller has old musty carpet, too many personal items or an elaborate (usually dusty) Christmas Village on display, loud pets, (whoops, posts for the future!), strange smell or insisted upon pricing their house too high, fellow agents can provide feedback to assist with difficult conversations like: “WHY haven’t YOU sold my house yet? It’s been 3 weeks!”

Top 5 Caravan Hints:

1. Take out is your friend! If the listing is multi-million, caterers are your Besties.
2. Don’t cook! Hold a gift card drawing or give bottles of wine to the first 10 agents.
3. Offer a mortgage broker the opportunity to feed (and meet) new leads for future loans.
4. Pull an all-nighter; make a home-cooked meal. Leave some in the fridge for homeowners so they don’t have to cook, since they may have also pulled an all-nighter cleaning.
5. My personal favorite… Cook like a Realtor!

Here’s how…

Salad in a bag kits are fantastic. (We love Bacon & Bleu from Publix) Pour into a nice wooden bowl, toss and bury bags at the bottom of the trash can.

Soup – people are always impressed that you made it. Took a month to pry this recipe from an agent, consider this is our little secret…

Tuesday Tomato Bisque

1  15oz can Fire-Roasted Tomatoes

2 10oz cans Tomato Soup

2 ½ Cups Buttermilk (trust me on this, it’s wonderful!)

1 T. fresh, chopped Basil (Or 1 t. dried if you’re in a pinch)

Salt, pepper (preferably white pepper), shake of nutmeg to taste

Combine ingredients; heat thoroughly (meaning tiny bubbles, don’t curdle the buttermilk) and serve. This can be kept warm in a crock pot for 2-3 hours.

Optional garnish: Shredded Parmesan or Mozzarella Cheese, Sour Cream, Chives

Sandra Lee on The Food Network would be proud of this recipe!

Bon Appetite ~

Curb Appeal, Schmurb Appeal – How About Inspections?

Tags

HGTV, Home Inspection, Real Estate, Real Life Real Estate

Here’s an idea for a show: Home Inspection Hell. That would entail mold, crawl spaces, angry buyers, sellers heckling my inspector and who wants to watch that? Bad TV; however! Lately, my inspections have proven entertaining, maybe Animal Planet-worthy…

I sat in the kitchen, doing paperwork and was alarmed by a strange, muted, high-pitched noise. I couldn’t find the home inspector – afraid he’d had an accident, I searched upstairs, prepared to call 911, when he bolted through the front door, camera in hand, with the dreaded question: “Are you squeamish?”

He asked that last month. I was stationed at the staircase, on “cat patrol” as he inspected the attic. (He once spent 90 minutes coaxing a kitty out of the attic, so my job was keeping the cat off the stairs.) He bounced down the ladder with an odd grin and a question: “Are you squeamish?”

“Save reptiles and rodents, I’m okay. What’s up?” He repeated the question; I described how I grew up in the woods, climbed trees, caught crabs in tidal; tadpoles in fresh water creeks, smashed Low Country Cockroaches in a flash, raised 4 children… “Not too squeamish. What’s up?”

He held out the camera and behold – BATS in the attic.

I couldn’t stop laughing. It figured that my buyer, who ironically, works in the funeral industry, had a potential bat issue. Needless to say, bats were only the beginning of other concerns. My client got over the picture perfect curb appeal, magical back yard space and terminated the contract on that house.

Fast forward a couple of weeks… met him to check out another house. I chatted with his friend in the driveway as a non-descript black van parked on the street, not his usual luxury vehicle. She didn’t miss a beat – “There he is! Two are riding in that van, just one will come inside to see the house. They’re on their way to the airport.”

He loved the house and made an offer, which brings us back to the dreaded question.

The inspector was still out of breath, “Are you squeamish?” I repeated my go-to answer, “Only reptiles and rodents … You don’t look so good, sure you’re okay?”

He said his heart still wasn’t operating properly after the surprise; I gripped the phone for 911 because my heart was still rushing from his out-of-the-ordinary clamor and brief disappearance…. He held out the camera to show an image of a huge black rat snake (non-venomous), sunning himself near the front porch.

“I spend a lot of time looking UP and almost stepped on it! THAT’S never happened before and I’ve done inspections for 15 years, inspected 64 homes this month!”

Is there ever a dull moment? I have to persevere in this business – Bats in the Belfry; Snake on the stoop … Off to the funeral home, for documents…

You’ve Been Diagnosed with HGTV Syndrome

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HGTV, HGTV Syndrome, Real Estate, Real Life Real Estate, Rookie Realtor

Please enjoy this fabulous piece – re-posted with great appreciation to: Shannon Milligan, Richmond VA Real Estate Agent Real Estate Agent with RVA Home Team with Jefferson Properties 0225195925

HGTV is a fun escape for many of us and a glimpse into the world of all things real estate and DIY. Even though I can work up to 80 hours a week as a Richmond VA Realtor, I still can’t help myself and indulge in an episode of House Hunters, Property Brothers, and Flip or Flop, from time to time. However, being in the business allows me to take each program with a grain of salt. For example, in real life it often takes more than 3 homes for a client to make a decision with several contingencies involved (home inspection, appraisal, securing financing, etc), it costs more than $8,000 for a kitchen renovation, and there isn’t always a hefty profit on a flipped property. When consumers watch these programs and they have no education in the subject at hand, an illness sets in. It is something I call HGTV Syndrome!

What are the Symptoms of HGTV Syndrome?

Symptoms of HGTV Syndrome can vary from person to person, however some common attributes are listed below:

*Do you feel as though black and white appliances are old, even if they are BRAND new?

*Is “Formica” a word that makes your stomach churn?

*Do you believe everything should be perfect when purchasing a resale home?

*Is your budget for a full kitchen renovation (demolition, new cabinets, travertine flooring, appliances, backsplash, lighting, and accessories) $10,000?

*Do you think flipping a house for profit is easy without many pitfalls?

If you have answered YES to any one of these questions, you need to seek immediate help from a skilled Richmond VA real estate agent!

Who is at Risk for HGTV Syndrome?

So, who is susceptible to HGTV Syndrome?  First time home buyers, those who have not purchased a home since the inception of HGTV, DIY‘ers , doctors, firefighters, lawyers, teachers, financial experts, and, yes, even real estate agents can come down with a case of HGTV Syndrome. Case in point: I recently had an offer on a listing where the buyer came in almost $50,000 off of the asking price. Their agent “justified” the LOW offer by saying, “my clients are estimating $40K in upgrades such as removing the popcorn ceiling, upgrading the HVAC, painting the entire inside, replacing the roof, and upgrading the appliances.” My clients thanked them for the offer and declined. My response was that their justification was based on cosmetic/personal preferences and speculation of defects to which there is no knowledge. To date the appliances, although cream, work great, the paint is not bright red but a nice neutral color, and there are no known defects to the HVAC or roof. In my professional opinion, the buyer and the agent have a case of HGTV Syndrome!

What is the Cure for HGTV Syndrome?

How can you be sure you don’t come down with a case of HGTV Syndrome? Take a preventative, healthy dose of reality by speaking with a real estate professional who is armed with the knowledge and perspective to ward off any hint of unrealistic expectations. A skilled Realtor will take the pulse on the features or attributes of homes in each neighborhood and will give you a detailed assessment on what to expect in a certain community. In some subdivisions it may be the norm to have granite countertops thus if the home you are considering does not, then your expectation is warranted. In other areas, it may be that popcorn ceilings and older appliances are the norm and to expect a seller to drop their price so you can upgrade to your own personal taste is not considered reasonable.

Richmond VA Realtor

Searching for a home for sale in the Richmond VA real estate market and need a real estate agent who will give you a baseline/report on the health of the market? Then contact Shannon Milligan, your Richmond VA Realtor at the RVA Home Team with Jefferson Properties, today!

Image courtesy of: Ddpayumba/freedigitalphotos.net

Find out here – What’s My Richmond VA Home Worth?

Originally published at: http://www.rvahometeam.com/richmondvanews/youve-been-diagnosed-hgtv-syndrome-richmond-va-real-estate/

Confessions of a Rookie Real Estate Agent

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HGTV, Jennifer Allan, Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Real Estate, Real Life Real Estate, Rookie Realtor

Confession #1: Once upon a time, I was addicted to 24/7 news channel, CNN. A friend who worked his way from Headline News assistant to Executive Producer over a journalistic career of two decades burst my bubble: “News is a very misleading term.” Example: If an airplane crashes, regardless of how many missionaries were on board, if there are no “pictures”, there is no story. I witnessed amazing film that described survival, grief, triumph of human spirit, abandoned to the newsroom floor – no pictures; no story.  If it’s not “Good TV” it won’t run at 6 o’clock. (or any other time)

Confession #2: Not so long ago, I was addicted to HGTV: Love it or List it, Flip or Flop, International Homefinders, Flipping the Block, then I got my real estate license.

The first clue was our real estate school instructor’s rant how he HATED real estate shows because half the time the real estate agents gave bad advice/too much advice/wrong advice, advice that could cause one to lose their real estate license. (According to Georgia law).

It is in this spirit, I’m willing to lay aside my pride and provide a public service to rookie agents, those considering getting their real estate licenses, ESPECIALLY for innocent souls considering quitting their day jobs for the glamorous life of a real estate agent, possibly to my clients who might watch a little too much HGTV, and definitely for my invaluable village of mentors, who field my constant questions… I now present my blog: The Rookie Show: Real Life Real Estate – it ain’t Good TV.

Here are a few things you’ll never see on HGTV:

1. The real estate agent purchasing a case of wasp spray – to prevent immanent attack during her showing.
2. The real estate agent changing from her nice, still fresh from cleaners, Tuesday Caravan dress & heels, into jeans & sneakers to clean her vacant listing – sweeping the driveway, moving fallen branches from a storm, vacuuming, swiping bathrooms with Clorox wipes. (Real Estate writer, blogger, mentor: Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, calls this “Fluff & Flush” – catchy; yet… you guessed it! NOT good TV)
3. The real estate agent fallen from asphyxiation, as the scent of chlorine rises from a cloudy green pool, due to homeowner’s attempt to assist the failed pool pump and chlorination system prior to the buyer’s pool inspection.

4. The real estate agent showing more than 3 homes.

5. The real estate agent and her clients searching 7 months, driving thousands of miles, viewing 487 homes, finding The One, only to discover … it already has a pending contract, 39 minutes after it was listed. Back to the MLS search, kids!

Hope you’ve enjoyed this snapshot – I’m thinking about returning to the slightly more predictable life of an advertising sales executive, simply watching Property Brothers in the safety of my den. Drew and Jonathan – that is some Good TV.